Category: sir’s info

leadhership: A Dominant Gives Their Submissi…


A Dominant Gives Their Submissive Leadership Through The Storms Of Life

Just to be clear








Dominance isn’t about sex.

A D/s relationship isn’t about bondage and toys.

TPE isn’t about keeping a sex slave.

I post a lot of porn because, well, let’s face it: we all love porn. But the sexual aspect forms such a small part of the whole that I sometimes feel like I’m doing it a disservice with my blog.

Dominance is being there for her.

Dominance is working through her meltdowns.

Dominance is accepting her, especially when she won’t accept herself.

Dominance is being asked for the millionth time if you love her.

Dominance is tucking her in at night.

Dominance is telling her no.

Dominance is quieting her demons.

Dominance is being her bastion of strength.

Dominance is shrugging off her anger and frustration when you do things for her own good.

Dominance is encouraging her.

Dominance is comforting her i the middle of the night when she’s had a nightmare.

Dominance is guiding her.

Dominance is building her.

Dominance is love.

Dominance done right is damned hard work, the most invigorating and rewarding work there is, but work it is and one should have no illusions about that. And if you’re not willing to put in the work, you need to stand aside, let your betters pass, and take a seat, son.

If I could add;

Submission isn’t about sex.

Submission is about being there for him, how he needs you to be.

Submission is about serving his needs, while finding your peace in doing so.

Submission is about respect.

Submission is about acceptance.

Submission is allowing him to release with you.

Submission is being a comfort and haven for him.

Submission is proving yourself.

Submission is not pouting when he tells he no.

Submission is thinking of him, before yourself.

Submission is listening.

Submission is vulnerable honesty.

Submission is your way of telling him he is beyond special to you. That he has earned the right to own you.

Submission is the outward expression of your belief in him.

Submission is not easy.

Submission is love.


Beautifully spoken!


Always a re-blog.

Orgasm Denial 101


Disclaimer: This was originally written for my husband to understand what orgasm denial is, and all the things he needed to know to participate in my own denial. Thus it’s written for a man, from a woman. I’ll try to cover some things for you men out there looking to try denial, but I’m less versed in male denial practices.

I decided to write this out Tumblr because when I began my first denial, I spent a lot of time trying to find all “the pieces”. I wished I had found just one single post that explained everything to me. It might exist, but I never found it.

Some of you may read parts of this and think “well that’s not true for me”. That’s ok, no two people are the same, so why should we all experience denial in the same way! Write your own experiences in the comments!

What is Orgasm Denial?

Orgasm denial is exactly what it sounds like: when a person is denied an orgasm. They could be denied release for a few hours, days, weeks, months, years, or forever.

It is different from just not having orgasms due to lack of sex or masturbation. Usually an orgasm is desired by the person, but it is not granted. It can be a self-imposed denial, or a person can be denied by a partner. Often orgasm denial is coupled with some stimulation, whether mental or physical, to keep the denied person aroused and wanting more. There has to be a desire to orgasm on some level, or in some cases the desire to not orgasm has to be stronger than the desire to orgasm.

How Long Does Orgasm Denial Last?

There are a number of different answers here, but ultimately it boils down to however long the denied person can physically or mentally last, or however long the partner in charge chooses. Like stated above, it can last hours, days, weeks, months, etc… As long as the person is kept aroused, and has proper motivation and interest, they they will probably be happy to keep going. The denial is broken when the denied person has an orgasm.

Some are given an “orgasm date”, in which case they know how long they will be denied and have a goal to work towards. It can also be a good tease, to remind the denied person that they can’t orgasm for X amount of days. Others might not have that O-date in place, and so will take it one day at a time until they are allowed to orgasm or make themselves orgasm.

There are some people who cannot go longer than a few days without having negative effects (loss of concentration, fatigue, loss of sleep, negative thoughts), and there are some people who can go hundreds of days strong. There is no wrong way to participate in an orgasm denial period. Find your comfort zone, and work within that. Don’t compare yourself or your days with others.

What is Edging?

Edging is being brought to the very precipice of orgasm and then stopping all stimulation before you orgasm. This is usually physical stimulation, but can be mental for some. Basically, if you can reach orgasm from something, you can edge with it (fingers, toys, cock, etc). The point though, is to stop yourself from actually having the orgasm.

To edge multiple times, there should be a break between each edge to allow the body to calm down before bringing it back up to the next edge. The amount of time between each edge will vary from person to person. I’ve seen 60 seconds, and I’ve seen “until you cool down”. Find what works for you. Or one can continuously edge by reaching the edge and holding it up there without going over and cumming and without lessening the arousal/edge. This can be really difficult, and can increase the chance of having an accidental orgasm.

For physical edging, there is soft edging and hard edging:

Soft Edging: at the first teeny tiny little wave of what you think might be an orgasm starting, remove all stimulation.

Hard Edging: stimulating beyond that teeny tiny feeling until you are the slightest moment before an orgasm, when even one more rub will send you over, and then remove all stimulation.

I suppose with the exception of no-touch denials, then to stay properly denied and remain motivated, one must edge probably once a day at the least. I have found that 3 edges a day is the minimum to keep it on my mind throughout the day, although when I first began, it seemed like a lot. A fun thing to do, once you want more edges, is to earn them through tasks either self-imposed or given to you by a partner.

There is also mental-edging, which is just a way to say keeping ones mind horny, and so it will keep your body horny. So looking at porn, reading erotic novels, listening to people orgasm, writing erotic stories, etc. All without touching yourself or being touched.

What is No Touch?

No Touch is exactly what it sounds like: you are not allowed to touch yourself in any way that brings you pleasure. There are varying degrees of no touch, usually decided by a partner, but can be self-imposed. It could be just not being allowed to touch internally, or not allowed to touch externally. Maybe not being allowed to touch your genitals at all, but nipple play might be a-ok. It could also be no touching at all, nothing that brings you pleasure, including things like pressing your thighs together, humping something, or pressing on your full bladder.

Why do no touch? This can be used as a punishment, or as a way to make you more horny and desperate to touch. During no touch, the denied person should be given instructions to keep their mind sexually stimulated through mental edging, so as to not lose interest in the denial. Not being able to touch can make you think about it more, make you even more aroused and desperate. It can also help you appreciate the touching of an actual edge more.

No touch can be done for a single day here and there, or a couple hours, or even as long as a week or two. But extended no touch is difficult to sustain. The interest decreases without the regular stimulation of edging.

If you have a partner, and you are practicing no touch, you should talk beforehand about how it will affect your physical relationship. Will you be free from touch 100%, so neither your partner nor you will touch you? Or will your partner be given free rein of your body, while you can not touch yourself at all? Both could be fun, but remember that if your partner doesn’t get to touch you, you should work extra hard to please them and make sure they are physically satisfied!


I don’t have any personal experience with being in chastity, but it is something both men and women could try while practicing denial. For men, it would be wearing a chastity cage. For women it would be a chastity belt. Even while in chastity, there can be varying levels of physical stimulation.

I’ll leave it to other readers to repost with information on chastity, or add something to the comments.

Ideas for Edging/Mental Edging

These are going to be written for women, because I’m just not very well versed in the ways of male edging. Guys, please chime in (repost with your ideas, or add them in the comments).

  • Hands
    • Standard fingers on clit or internally (vaginal or anal)
    • Tapping on your clit with your fingertip
    • Rubbing yourself over your panties
    • Bladder pressing
  • Toys
    • Vibrators
    • Dildos
    • Anal Plugs
    • Whatever your favorite toy is
  • Objects
    • Humping pillows, etc.
    • Fucking anything around that house that’s safely insertable (safely meaning it won’t damage anything internally, you won’t mess up your pH, and you won’t get an infection. Put a condom on it if it’s something like a vegetable. Just be smart… when in doubt, don’t do it, or research more.)
    • Using the showerhead
    • Under the bath faucet
    • Using a moist paintbrush on your clit/nipples
    • Edging with toothpaste on your clit (fair warning this will be mildly painful. For those who like a lot of pain, try something like tiger balm or bengay.)
    • Edge with numbing cream like oraljel or Dermoplast spray (this might not technically count, because you’ll be too numb to feel anything. Also, warning, Demoplast stings when first applied.)
  • Assisted Edging (this is a partner edging you)
    • Tongue or Fingers
    • Vibrator
    • Cock (assuming your partner is a man)
    • Bluetooth vibrator like the we-vibe sync for ldr couples, or couples who want to try this in public/while one is at work.
  • Mental Edging
    • Watching Porn
    • Watching other women/men orgasm
    • Listening to an erotic audio book (Check out Cherise Sinclair’s series Masters of the Shadowlands – I literally listened to these books for almost a full calendar year while in my car. Great commutes home!!)
    • Read an erotic novel, or erotica online
    • Writing your own sexy story
    • Ask your Tumblr friends to tease you and turn you on!
    • Sexting
    • Pleasure your partner without receiving any stimulation yourself
  • Location
    • Change the location of where the denied person is allowed to edge (floor, bed, couch, chair, shower)
    • Only allowed to edge while standing
    • Can not edge on any furniture
    • In public: changing rooms, bathroom stalls, in your car (be careful here, you don’t want to get arrested or make anyone else feel uncomfortable)
  • Duration
    • __ Minutes to try to do as many edges (with cool down between so its not just one continuous edge)
    • As long as the denied person wants
    • 1 hour of continuous edging (even if you hit the edge, you must find a way to not stop touching without going over)
    • Send an image of yourself to your partner and they will determine if you need more minutes/edges.
    • Edge the entirety of a song/album/tv show/movie

What is a Ruined Orgasm?

And What Will It Do?

A ruined orgasm is when you stop all stimulation at the very onset of an orgasm, and in some cases possibly before, and then just letting the body carry the orgasm forward. The orgasm will happen, but without stimulation there will be no satisfaction. So whether you’re using toys, hands, fingers, etc, when you know that orgasm is just starting or about to start, pull away everything! And let the orgasm happen without touching yourself.

Men and women will experience a ruined orgasm differently in how it is expressed. A man’s ruined orgasm will not spurt cum, it will just sort of dribble out. A woman’s ruined orgasm will look like pulsing, because her muscles will still be contracting in an orgasm, but nothing will be there for it to grab onto.

There will be a period afterwards where arousal will be even greater than usual following a ruined orgasm because all that pent up energy you’ve accumulated prior to the ruin will remain. Many will feel themselves in an even more heightened state, often feeling quite sensitive in many areas of the body. It can leave you feeling more desperate for a full satisfying orgasm. Some may use ruined orgasms as treats/rewards, which can seem strange but when you are being denied/edged for so long, a ruined orgasm is still a type or orgasm!

I’m not sure what would happen if you ruined every time, or very often. I’d be interested to read anyone’s thoughts on this.

One thing I’ve read a lot and experienced is a type of guilt or feelings of failure when you have an unintentional ruin. Perhaps it was just meant to be an edge, but you went a smidge too far and it turned into an orgasm. Accidents happen! And those new to denial should remember that you are just that, new! You need to learn your body, and where your limits are. You need to learn where the edge is. And the edge might be somewhere different depending on what you use. I have found that I can get very very close to orgasm before pulling away when using fingers, but that I have to back off much sooner when humping things like a pillow. Find your own way, and don’t be upset if you accidentally ruin while getting there. It’s just one more learning experience.

If you accidentally ruin, there are a few things you could do. If you have a partner that you are accountable to, you must tell them and they may punish you if they see fit/it was agreed upon ahead of time. If you are doing denial solo, you might consider a few days of no touch. At the very least, do not touch for the rest of that day. Some might find the spike of arousal as punishment enough (seriously, it’s like having fire in my veins. I can’t sit still, and I can’t relax).

What To Do When You Actually Orgasm (A Real, Fulfilled Orgasm!)

I don’t think I have to go into how to give yourself/someone else an orgasm, that’s all up to you and how you want to play. These were a couple ideas I gave my husband, since we are already sure of how to give me an orgasm, so I wanted him to know how to give a denied girl a better experience.

  • Definitely tease the denied person to make them anticipate it. Depending on what kind of teasing they like, it could be “Yay, you get to orgasm in 30 days! It’ll be here before you know it!”; or something more cruel like “I can’t believe it’s going to be 30 whole days before you can orgasm. That’s such a long time, how will you ever make it?” See what I did there?
  • Make the denied person work for their orgasm! When it’s O time, don’t just go straight for it. Edge yourself/them a few times first, make them earn it.
  • If you have a partner that is denied, make them beg you not to orgasm. Yeah, you heard me. You know they’re going to have an orgasm, and they know they’re going to have an orgasm. But knowing it’s O-day and having to beg you not to let you orgasm is such a mind-fuck. It makes you wonder if they changed their mind… To make it worse/more realistic, have them beg not to orgasm while you edge them, and when they hit the edge, stop stimulation and say “well that was going to be your orgasm but you begged so convincingly!” – but in the end, definitely give them their damn orgasm!
  • When the real orgasm happens, make it explosive. Draw it out. Even try multiple orgasms as this point because why not? It’s back to denial the next day.

What Denial Does to the Body

I wrote a post about what Denial was doing to my body after only a few short days, so I won’t write it all here. I can’t speak about what men experience, but for me, my responsiveness is heightened. My nipples and skin feel so sensitive, that even my shirt brushing against my nipples would feel like too much. Don’t even get me started on the feeling of the shirt on me after I take my bra off… I’m also wet all the time, or easily made wet. It does things to the mind too, such as it tends to make me want more intense porn.

The best part: I feel a million times sexier. WIN.

Things That Make Orgasm Denial Fun!

  • Verbal Teasing
    • Reminding the denied person that they cannot orgasm.
    • Telling them how desperate and greedy they are.
  • Giving the denied person tasks to do – especially tasks that can earn more edges! (These tasks can be anything from doing chores, or sexual favors for your partner; or for those who are doing it solo, give yourself extra edges for doing something you were afraid to do, or for being on time every day this week. Get creative!)
  • Changing duration/location of edging, or changing how one edges.
  • Having no touch periods to make you appreciate edging!
  • Making your partner or yourself ruin orgasms
  • Write about how you feel, either in private or here on Tumblr. Or if you have a partner, having the denied person talk about how they feel directly.
  • Play denial games with friends, or get a denial buddy to do it with
  • Tickling or Massages are a great way to be physical with your partner without touching/edging.
  • Physically please your partner while you remained denied/untouched

What I Like About Denial

What I like about it is that it’s all about the pleasure building up and lingering, not about the release. I know now that for me, the pleasure leading up to the orgasm is way better than the actual orgasm. But even knowing this, I still crave and want the orgasm so badly. I am sometimes so horny I can’t even sit still, think, or focus. Those are fun times. You think you’ll never get through this bout of arousal, and curse denial, but then look back fondly at those moments.

Denial makes me want to try new things, sexually, too, which is always great.

I like that it keeps me physically “ready” (read: wet). I like that I feel horny and desperate all the time. It makes me  feel very attentive to my husband, more than usual, and more aware of his hands and affections. Even the smallest touches have me at attention. I want to always please him, physically, emotionally. When I’m not focused on my orgasm, I am free to be more focused on his and our shared experience. In short, denial has made me a better wife, submissive, and woman. (note: this is just my personal experience, I’m not making generalizations about everyone)

Safety & Consent

There are a number of safety issues that come to mind when I think of Orgasm Denial, which one might not immediately think of:

  • Mental health is the primary concern when I think about orgasm denial. This is no surprise but we are all different and everyone will react differently to denial. Pay attention to how you feel on a daily basis, emotionally as well as physically. If you begin to feel any negative effects, perhaps take a break. Negative effects could manifest as feelings of sadness/depression, anger, wanting to distance oneself from a partner or the world, sudden crying, loss of sleep/appetite, extreme fatigue… Anything that seems out of the ordinary for you. If your partner is the denied person, you must pay attention to their mental health too.
  • Realize that you are not in a clear and lucid state of mind when you are edging, or when you are aroused at all. You may have a lack of concentration or alertness. Be careful driving, walking, or even making decisions in your life. Your judgement can be impaired just as if you were drunk.
  • Ladies, edging a lot with things you are inserting into your vagina could lead to infection if you are not careful. Be sure to clean your toys between each use, and wash your hands before you insert fingers.
  • Be so careful with items you choose to insert inside yourself. I’m not going to play dumb and pretend that people aren’t sticking random things in their vaginas/asses. So if/when you do this, be safe. Think about how much bacteria could be on food items, or even pesticides! And you want to put it in your body? Or even household items. Wash it, and use a condom on it, and be damn sure there’s nothing sharp that will pierce your delicate skin.
  • Minor one, but I found that constantly rubbing my clit hard, or humping things, caused me to feel almost like I was bruised there. Take breaks if this happens, just treat your parts kindly.
  • Don’t give into the temptation to edge for-fucking-ever. Edging/denial will keep sex on your mind a lot more than before (for many). Don’t forget to go live your life. Don’t miss school/work, don’t skip events, don’t skip meals/showers. If you see yourself doing these things, maybe take a break.
  • Stay hydrated! Seriously… you’ll thank me later.

As with any part of sex/BDSM: Consent is mandatory.

So when you and your partner consent and agree to enter into a period of orgasm denial, understand that the denied person, when very aroused, is extremely vulnerable. And since denial is an extended practice (more than just one “scene”) then the person can be in and out of these extreme states of arousal many times in a single day. Your role as their partner who has consented to be a part of the experience, is to ensure their safety in all ways. Ensure that they are not making important decisions when aroused, check in on their mental status frequently, and be sure that they are caring for their body.


Friends, please repost and tag denial practitioner’s blogs. For now, here are the couple of names that I know:







And here is a great link from @denialarchive with a ton of names to click and discover!

Thanks for reading, and I hope this was very helpful. Please message me or leave a comment here if there are further questions.

babygirlssweetsurrender: A comprehensive guide…


A comprehensive guide. 😀

princesskittycatkylee: aslavesmind: fuckmean…











What you can do with a pillow case

I’ve been looking all over for this!

Always reblog.


Yay! Found it again!


Good ideas

“Okay, we can tell what Mona does because that’s not the kind of fist we want.” 😂😂😂

I’ve met them both!!! Wooo!

theropegeek: All rope, photos, text, and layo…


All rope, photos, text, and layout by me.  

Models: @dumdolly​, @ropebaby, @masochistic-babygirl​, and Anya Demure (@theropediary)

Updated Library For Kinksters




I completed some major changes to the Library For Kinksters. Here is the update…



Doms, Daddies & Masters

Littles, Subs & Slaves

Long Distance Relationships

Mental Health



Self Improvement




Reposting the library for kinksters. This is a great resource! Even if you think you know everything about dd/lg I guarantee you that you don’t and that you should read this entire list and continue to learn more and more.

Reposting for some people. This is a great resource!

i-hate-the-beach: positively-nudity: Lmao… I …



Lmao… I really debated posting this bc every time I do at least a few ppl tell me I’m pregnant lol… if I was pregnant I certainly wouldn’t be able to suck my stomach in as far as I do in the pic on the left….

Anyway these pics were taken literally 10 seconds apart so here’s an idea: stop believing everything you see on the internet and love your own body and stop trying to look like those other girls because you’ll honestly never look like them!!! 99.999999% of the time THEY don’t even look like them!

Thank you this has been a psa!!

Ngl I needed this and I used to make posts with the same intent as this and now I needed it from someone else so thanks op

All bodies are amazing bodies.

Pussy eating 101



Congratulations! If you’re reading this, you’re probably getting ready to go down on your girl and know the joy of eating pussy. Here are a few tips to help you make your girl orgasm over and over again.

It’s not the Fast and the Furious

Don’t rush it. Take it slow at first and get a feel for what she likes. It’s not the Fast and the Furious btw. One of the most important things to do is for you and your girl to relax. Seriously, it’ll be fine, you got this!  Kiss your way down her body and tease her thighs and butt. This will turn her on before you start the real action. Get close so that she thinks you’re going to go down any second, but don’t give in immediately.

Driving her crazy

Make sure you spend time getting her aroused before you head south. When she’s ready, kiss her on the outside of her panties. Breathe hot air through her panties against her vag area. Breathe softly but warmly for short bursts at a time. You can alternate between doing this and kissing her thighs and stomach. Teasing her will drive her crazy and make her wet and ready.

Slow and steady

Start out gentle, start licking slowly then gradually speed it up. Take time to explore the whole region, teasing her with your tongue. When you begin to kiss and lick her vulva, work your way in slowly from the outside. Start by licking the outer edges of the outer lips (labia), then very slowly spread them, and lick and kiss the inner lips, and around the vagina. Do this gently, as though you were still teasing her. 

Avoid the clit, at first

Try to avoid coming in contact with her clit for as long as you can, even as you kiss her labia and vagina. When you reach her clit, lick softly and focus on the clitoral hood (just above the clitoris), since most women prefer indirect clitoral contact before they’re fully aroused.  If she grinds faster as you lick her, press your tongue harder on her clit and go faster. If she grinds slowly, then slow it down and try flicking your tongue softer because her clit may be becoming sensitive.

Know your alphabet

If you’re not sure which strokes are best to approach the clit, try licking the alphabet by licking the shape of every letter in the alphabet.  As silly as that sounds, it does work. While doing this, make your licks wide from time to time to cover the whole genital area, and make them small at other times, centering on the clit itself.

Suck it 

As she becomes more aroused, you can gently suck her clit into your mouth and flick your tongue over it. This combination of suction with a much faster rhythm will drive her crazy.

Listen and learn

Listen carefully to what she says and the sounds she makes. If she sounds excited, keep doing what you’re doing for as long as you can. When she seems to respond less, it’s time to try a new stroke.

Learn to hum

Closing your mouth and humming against her clit, adding vibrations as you lick, will stimulate her clit and vagina. 

Get into it

Use your entire face when you’re going down on her — your nose, cheeks and chin and move them around. Even if you’re just using your mouth, shaking your face from side to side and up and down will enhance friction in a great way.

Finger licking good

It’s important to have clean, well-groomed hands when you’re touching a woman’s genitals. Keep your fingernails trimmed and filed, to avoid scratching her sensitive skin. Don’t cut your nails right before hooking up; they’ll still be too rough and sharp to touch her. Every woman’s body responds differently, so you’ll want to play around with a few different ways of touching her to figure out what she likes best. Circle around her clit with one finger, gliding diagonally across the surface, rubbing up and down, or going side to side. Next, try using your fingers inside of her, starting with one, then moving up to two and three. Then try using one hand inside of her and the other on her clitoris. Ask her, “do you like it better when I do this or this?” Or see which approach makes her moan louder or breathe heavier. Once you’ve got her going, make sure you pay attention to her clit. Most women need repetitive, consistent clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. Find your rhythm and don’t make any changes as she starts to near her climax. Also, penetrating your girl with one finger and making a “come here” motion is a great way to locate her G-spot, which will increase her orgasm. Alternate using your fingers and licking her.

Lube is your friend

When fingering her remember: the skin on a woman’s genitals is delicate. You don’t want your fingers pulling and tugging at her skin when you’re touching her, so using lube when you’re fingering her is a plus. You can use her natural fluids as lubricant (just dip your fingers into her vaginal opening), but doesn’t last as long as lube and she may feel embarrassed if she gets dry. Lube will not only decrease her discomfort (and any potential pain), but it will also increase her sensitivity and help your fingers move better. FYI: silicone lubricant lasts longest and feels best against the skin.

Don’t stop, she’s so close

When she is nearing an orgasm, make sure you do everything she wants you to. No matter if you have a kink in your neck or your arm’s falling asleep, keep doing exactly what you’re doing until you’re sure she’s orgasmed.

Know when enough is enough

The clit is extremely sensitive after climax, so when her orgasm is over, you don’t want to keep licking it as intensely as you were before she reached orgasm. As she climaxes, continue licking, but gently taper off as her reaction begins to mellow.

Be creative

When going down, feel free to be creative — mix and match what works best for you and what drives your girl crazy. :))

– This isn’t THE pussy eating post we were looking for, but it’ll do for now. Thank you @cockcalledexcalibur for this.

peachfuzzcomics: 15cocopuffs: peachfuzzcomics…




PeachFuzz #176: Sensual Reminders

I’m all about this sexual positivity and creating a safe environment in the bedroom. 

Support the strip/my transition & earn rewards:


it would be a real buzz kill to stop your partner right in the middle of it tho, if you cant handle it all the way at least help them to finish off as well, you should be nice and care for their needs as well as yours right? c:

Hi, that’s a problematic thing to say.

To stop because you’re uncomfortable during sex isn’t being a “buzz kill.” 

If you’re uncomfortable to the point of wanting sex to stop, that doesn’t mean you have an obligation to “finish” your partner. Never.

It means you stop. Period.

The only “obligation” you have in the bedroom is to act consensual and with respect.


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