Guide to choking during sex


Why do women love getting choked?

  • They love the idea of firm grip on their neck by a dominant male. It makes them feel powerless.
  • Choking intensifies their orgasm
  • They crave for that ultimate connection with their partner and choking is one way to let go off all feelings and be vulnerable with the person they love. They know that their partner can be trusted.

Safety & Disclaimer

Safe word: Discuss with your partner and decide on a safe word. If at any point, you feel not safe or if a scene triggers bad memories from your abusive past do not hesitate to use a safeword. It is your right to do so.

Safe signal: When you are gagged, you won’t be able to utter safe word. So, that is when safe signals are useful. Clenching your fist twice, V shaped using fingers are some commonly used ones.

Your partner won’t consider you as any less , just because you had to use a safe word. It is only fun when both parties enjoy it. So, do not hesitate to use it if you are not feeling tings right way.

Tip for dominants: “What do you do when a submissive says a safe word?”


Choking can be very dangerous in wrong hands.  So, “When you are in doubt, DO NOT TRY THIS at all “.

This blog is not responsible for any accidents if it happens. Be smart and know your limits. There is always time to learn. Knowledge is power. So read on different techniques and see what works with your partner.

Have safe consensual sex and discuss sexual preferences with your partner at least a day before getting together. Asking her just before making a move is a TURN OFF.

Science behind choking



You have to apply pressure on the carotid artery. It basically cuts off the flow of oxygen to the brain causing a lightheaded sensation which in turn increases pleasure level.

Always feel pressure points on partner’s neck prior to choking. It must not hurt or sting her after you remove pressure from neck. Avoid those sensitive regions.

Above images shows location of carotid arteries and choke point. Get a feel of where it lies on your neck before you try on another person. 

How much pressure is too much?

Believe me when I say so, we really don’t want to know that. When I say apply pressure, it is gentle squeeze and release. Place your thumb and other fingers on carotid arteries. Count 1-2 second(s) and release.

There are few who go into extreme choking to the point of making their partner unconscious. It is not for everyone and things can spiral downwards. Let us just stick to basics.

Have you ever seen a lioness carry cubs grabbing their neck with its teeth? That is a kind of pressure you all have to work on. Anyone can do it irrespective of how well built you are. 


Practice couple of times and if your partner wants to step it up a notch, you will have confidence to do it. It is practically safe as you are not choking your partner with intention to restrict her breathing.

Choking techniques:

  • Apply gentle pressure on both sides of neck. Use your palm to act as barrier between sensitive region on her neck , trachea/windpipe. Make sure not to let your body weight pressure fall in that area.
  • Use her jawline as grip and tilt her head little sideways so she will feel helpless and not in control. Most of the times, just the idea of your hands on her neck gets her off. You don’t even have to apply pressure. 
  • You can also give her feeling of being choking using both hands. You don’t have to apply pressure on side of neck at all.


  • Do not apply pressure on windpipe.
  • Do not pull her neck upwards.
  • Do not use your grip on her neck to move her around. Use her hips, legs to pull her down or get her into position you prefer.
  • Be aware of surroundings if you are not having sex on bed.
  • Do not try choking when drunk, on medications or when you are high.


Maintain eye contact to assert dominance.

Stop thrusting midway and ask her if she wants to get fucked harder. Make her say those words.

Dirty talk when she’d about to cum. Let her beg for permission to cum.

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Be safe everyone