know what would be uber awesome? If you had a sexist pig of a man transform into the very slutty kind of female he thinks all women should be and then fall in devotion to the first man she sees.


Jimmy Gayt loved the internet.

Specifically, he loved browsing the internet on his quad-core-water-cooled-RAID-array-too-much-RAM gaming monster machine, which had enough power to stream porn from Redtube while a Twitch cast played on a second monitor and he idled in Barrens chat on a third screen.

Today, he was killing time by letting women on the internet know they were ugly. He considered this a public service. After all, if no one told them they were awful to look at, how would they know? After all, those sluts needed to be put in their places and learn how to attract a man who could provide for them. Like him.

He had just finished up setting up yet another twitter account after his last one had been banned, and was reaching for another can of Mountain Dew, when he received a DM.

You’re a real pig, you know that?

One of the beneficiaries of his selfless acts had responded! Strangely, he’d sent the ugly whore the message on another account, but Jimmy just figured that twitter had some clever way of forwarding it to his new account. He eagerly turned to brandish his razor-sharp wit against this new interlocutor.

takes one to konw one, whore

Satisfied that he’d put the nasty social justice warrior in her place, Jimmy took a celebratory swig of neon-green soda.

The computer chimed again. Another DM.

I think you can do better than that, Jimmy.

He frowned. This one was persistent.

if you had big tits i might consider your opinion worth something

The mountain of rhetorical prowess scaled, Jimmy turned his attention to the current video streaming from Redtube, a classic entry in the “Suzie Gets Anal!” series. He’d only had a chance to catch up on the plot when twitter chirped at him again.

Let’s see if that works in your case, then. babus totalus, Jimmy.

As he reached out to type a response, the computer let out a loud, low grinding noise and went dead. All four monitors went blank. Jimmy lept out of his chair, cursing – the bitch had sent him a virus somehow!

As he wracked his brain, trying to figure out what to do and how the bros over on the KiA forum were never going to believe this, Jimmy’s computer beeped and rebooted, but instead of being greeted with the usual Windows boot screen, instead the monitors were bathed in a warm pink glow.

Jimmy looked at it curiously, then… less curiously. He stared. His jaw went slack. The weird humming noise he’d thought he’d noticed right as the computer turned on seemed to fade away, and he just looked at the pink color for a while.

What do you find attractive in a woman?

“Skinny…” Jimmy murmured. “Gotta be thin.” Weight began to melt off his dorito-fueled form, his chunky gut beginning to shrink away.

“But… she’d gotta have nice big tits, too. Big and firm…” As he spoke, his loose t-shirt tightened into a nice fitted tee, all the better to show off as his man-boobs bloated into full-blown breasts, each one round and full and straining at the tight top.

“Gotta be shorter than… me. And blonde.”

A few inches compressed themselves out of Jimmy’s spine, dropping the top of his head to an even 5′3″, while his messy black hair exploded out of his scalp into a long blonde ponytail.

“A pretty face without much makeup… girls look ugly with too much makeup…”

The stubble on his chin fell out as his face reshaped itself. A subtle layer of makeup that would take around an hour to properly re-create appeared, giving his face a beauty that only seemed effortless.

“…and she’s gotta be a virgin… needs to have saved herself for me…”

With a loud schrlurp, Jimmy’s average-sized cock inverted into a pussy and womb, complete with an intact hymen.

“…but she’s also up for… anything. Fucking her huge tits. Anal. Whatever… he wants.”

Jenny’s big breasts swelled even larger, now easily large enough to encompass any size dick. The neck of her shirt now revealed what looked like a mile of creamy cleavage.

That’s it?

“That’s it.”

The pink glow faded, and the computer finished booting normally. Jenny’s jaw snapped shut.

“Huh, I guess the computer’s OK,” Jenny said out loud. What the fuck?! Jimmy said, buried inside her.

“Jenny, you home?” A voice carried into Jenny’s bedroom from outside, and she ran over to greet them, big chest bouncing as she did so. “Mike! You’re here! Come on up, the backdoor’s open!” The boy on the lawn waved and made his way around the house.

“Oh, this’ll be great. We can play Starcraft II over LAN, and then afterwards I can reward him if he wins!” Jenny giggled at her unique training strategy for her boyfriends, but it was working – her coaching had earned Mike a spot on a semi-pro team, and another of her boys (who had an absolutely monster cock) was being scouted by a Counterstrike clan.

Trapped within the bubbly, outgoing, sexually-adventurous Jenny, Jimmy raged at the injustice of it all, right up until Mike won three out of five rounds of Starcraft. The aftermath of that shut Jimmy up for a bit, as Jenny happily broke her eternally-regenerating virginity on Mike’s cock.

And with that, the twitter witch turned her attention away from the doomed, trapped Jimmy. “Another good deed,” she said, shutting her laptop.

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